I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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