Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
