talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize