He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
