I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
