He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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