11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
