Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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