You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Are we still banned from the library?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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