we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize