These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
