she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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