you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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