i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
