she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
