Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
