Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
