Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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