I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize