Can Purell be used as lube?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
