Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
