Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
