I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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