Who wears a wallet chain?!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
