Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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