Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
