i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
