as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
