Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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