Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize