He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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