duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
