mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
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