I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
