I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
