Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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