you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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