This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
