textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
