The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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