She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
COCAINE IS GR8
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
