First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
