Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
