the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
