i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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