I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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