I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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