DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
