you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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