I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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