i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
