There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize