I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
