I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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