I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
