Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
