I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
